Trauma can have a profound and lasting impact on a person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. While the initial event may be long in the past, its effects can continue to ripple through a person’s life, showing up in unexpected ways. One of the most difficult aspects of trauma is the cycle it can create — a repetitive pattern of emotional distress, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and negative consequences. This cycle can keep people feeling stuck, unable to break free from the patterns of behaviour that have developed as a result of unresolved trauma.
In this blog post, I will explore the trauma cycle in depth, helping you understand how it works, the signs that you are caught in it, and, most importantly, how to stop it from repeating.
What is the Trauma Cycle?
The trauma cycle is a pattern in which unresolved emotional wounds influence behaviour in a way that perpetuates further distress. This cycle can be deeply ingrained, often happening unconsciously. It typically begins with a trigger that stirs up painful emotions linked to past trauma. In response to these intense feelings, a person may resort to coping mechanisms that temporarily ease the pain but ultimately create more harm in the long run.
Over time, the trauma cycle can take a toll on a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. What makes the trauma cycle particularly insidious is that the more it repeats, the more deeply it becomes embedded in the psyche. Understanding the trauma cycle is the first crucial step in learning how to break free from it.
Triggering the Trauma Cycle
A trauma trigger is any stimulus — whether external or internal — that brings up memories of a past traumatic experience. These triggers can vary widely, depending on the person’s unique history. Common examples include sights, sounds, smells, or even certain types of interactions that evoke feelings of fear, shame, or helplessness from the original trauma. Triggers can be obvious, such as hearing a loud noise that reminds someone of an accident or attack, but they can also be subtle and unconscious.
For example, someone who experienced emotional abuse in childhood may be triggered by a raised voice or a specific tone, even if no actual threat is present. Similarly, a survivor of a car accident might feel anxiety when passing through the intersection where the crash occurred, even though years have passed, and they know the likelihood of another accident is low.
Triggers activate the brain's survival mechanisms. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing fear, signals the body to go into one of the trauma responses: the most commonly known being fight, flight or freeze. These responses were vital for our ancestors when they faced real, immediate dangers, like predators. However, for trauma survivors, these responses can be activated by triggers that aren't truly life-threatening. The body reacts as though it is in danger, flooding the person with intense emotions like panic, anxiety, or anger.
This hypersensitivity to perceived threats often leads to an overwhelming sense of distress, which sets the trauma cycle in motion.
Escaping the Pain
When trauma survivors encounter triggers, the emotions that arise are often too overwhelming to face head-on. In an attempt to escape these feelings, people tend to develop coping mechanisms that allow them to avoid or numb the pain. These behaviours can range from dissociation — where the personl disconnects from their emotions or surroundings — to more active forms of avoidance, such as substance abuse, binge eating, self-harm, or overworking.
Dissociation, for example, can be an automatic response that allows a person to mentally "check out" from their feelings. This can be experienced as a sense of detachment from reality, or in extreme cases, as a feeling of being outside one's body. While this may provide temporary relief, it doesn’t address the underlying trauma and often leaves people feeling more isolated and confused.
Other common maladaptive coping mechanisms, like substance abuse or overeating, serve to distract the person from their emotional pain. The initial use of these coping strategies may feel like a way to regain control or create a sense of comfort. However, because they do not resolve the root cause of the distress, they often lead to additional problems, such as addiction, health issues, or strained relationships.
In some cases, these coping mechanisms can become so entrenched that the person may not even realise they are using them to avoid their trauma. For example, someone who was emotionally neglected in childhood may throw themselves into their work, believing that their drive for success is purely ambition. However, they may be using work to avoid feelings of loneliness or inadequacy stemming from the original trauma.
The Temporary Relief and Brain Chemistry
One of the reasons why maladaptive, or unhealthy, coping mechanisms are so difficult to break is the temporary relief they provide. When we engage in behaviours that ease our distress — whether it’s through substances, overeating, or even dissociation — our brain releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. These chemicals are designed to make us feel good. Dopamine, often called the "reward" chemical, gives us a sense of pleasure and satisfaction, while endorphins act as natural painkillers, creating feelings of euphoria.
This chemical release reinforces the behaviour, encouraging us to repeat it because it temporarily alleviates our suffering. However, this relief is short-lived. The initial rush of feel-good chemicals soon wears off, leaving behind the original emotional pain, which may feel even more intense than before. This often drives people to engage in the maladaptive behaviour again, creating a vicious cycle.
Take, for example, someone who turns to alcohol to cope with trauma-related anxiety. The alcohol may temporarily numb their emotional distress, but once the effects wear off, they may feel even more anxious or depressed than before. This increased emotional distress can then lead to more drinking, trapping the person in a cycle of avoidance and self-destruction.
Understanding the role of brain chemistry in the trauma cycle is crucial. It highlights why breaking free from unhealthy coping mechanisms can be so challenging, even when the individual is aware of the negative consequences of their behaviour.
Consequences of Maladaptive Coping
The temporary relief provided by unhealthy coping strategies comes at a cost. Over time, the negative consequences of these behaviours begin to accumulate, affecting nearly every aspect of a person’s life.
In relationships, maladaptive coping mechanisms can create distance and tension. For example, someone who isolates themselves when feeling triggered may push away loved ones, leading to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Substance abuse or other forms of self-harm can cause emotional pain to those who care about the person, further straining relationships.
On a personal level, unhealthy coping mechanisms often take a toll on both physical and mental health. Substance use can lead to addiction, while overeating can contribute to weight gain, heart disease, or diabetes. Even seemingly benign behaviours like overworking can lead to burnout, chronic stress, and health complications. In addition to physical consequences, people often experience increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and helplessness as they struggle to manage the consequences of their behaviours.
The emotional and psychological toll of maladaptive coping strategies can also be significant. Many trauma survivors experience shame and guilt over their behaviours. They may feel as though they are weak or out of control, which only deepens their sense of inadequacy and reinforces the trauma cycle.
The long-term effects of these coping mechanisms can create a feedback loop in which the consequences of the behaviour lead to more distress, which in turn triggers the use of the same maladaptive strategies. The more entrenched these patterns become, the harder they are to break.
Shame and Guilt
Shame and guilt are powerful emotions that often arise as a result of maladaptive coping strategies. While guilt is associated with feeling bad about something we’ve done, shame goes deeper, attacking the core of who we are. For many trauma survivors, shame is a pervasive feeling that they are inherently flawed, damaged, or unworthy. This belief is often reinforced by the negative consequences of their coping mechanisms.
For example, someone who self-harms may feel deep shame about their behaviour, believing that they are weak or "broken" because they can't cope with their emotions in a healthier way. Similarly, someone who abuses substances may feel guilty for the damage their addiction has caused to their relationships, but this guilt often morphs into shame — the belief that they are a bad person for engaging in such behaviours.
Shame is particularly dangerous because it keeps people trapped in the trauma cycle. It fuels negative self-beliefs and makes it difficult to reach out for help. Many trauma survivors internalise the belief that they are undeserving of care or that their struggles are a result of personal failure. This self-blame further isolates them, reinforcing the cycle of distress and maladaptive coping.
Breaking free from the trauma cycle requires addressing both the behaviours and the emotions that drive them, including the shame and guilt that often accompany trauma. This is where therapy can play a critical role, helping people process these complex emotions and begin to view themselves with more compassion.
Why the Cycle Repeats
The trauma cycle often feels impossible to escape because it’s not just a behavioural pattern — it’s a combination of deeply ingrained biological, psychological, and emotional factors that reinforce one another. Trauma creates changes in the brain that make it harder for people to regulate their emotions and behaviour. Over time, the brain becomes wired to respond to certain triggers with the same patterns of fear, avoidance, and maladaptive coping.
This is where trauma bonding can come into play. Trauma bonding refers to the strong emotional attachment a person can develop to their abuser or the environment in which the trauma occurred. This bond can make it difficult for people to break away from toxic situations, as they may unconsciously seek out relationships or environments that replicate their trauma. This repetition often reinforces the trauma cycle, creating a loop of distress, harmful behaviours, and emotional pain.
In addition to trauma bonding, attachment styles — often formed in early childhood — can play a significant role in why the cycle repeats. For example, people with insecure attachment styles may unconsciously gravitate toward relationships that mirror the emotional dynamics of their past trauma. They may find themselves in relationships where they feel emotionally neglected or even abused, unknowingly recreating the very circumstances that caused their trauma in the first place.
The cycle repeats because it is driven by unresolved trauma. Without addressing the root cause of the distress, people will continue to use the same coping mechanisms, react to the same triggers, and reinforce the same patterns of pain. Trauma therapy is essential for breaking this cycle because it provides a safe space for people to process their trauma, reframe their experiences, and develop healthier ways of coping with stress and emotions.
Breaking the Trauma Cycle: Healing and Recovery
Breaking the trauma cycle is not just about managing the symptoms, but about addressing the root cause of the trauma. One of the most effective ways to do this is through trauma therapy and other forms of talking therapy. These therapies provide a safe and structured environment where individuals can explore their trauma, process difficult emotions, and begin the journey toward healing.
Trauma Therapy
Trauma therapy focuses on helping people heal from the effects of traumatic experiences. It is specifically designed to address the emotional, psychological, and physical impacts of trauma, providing a safe space to process distressing memories and emotions. Trauma therapy often involves working through difficult memories in a controlled and supportive way, allowing the client to gain a new perspective and reduce the emotional intensity of those memories.
There are various approaches to trauma therapy, including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and Somatic Experiencing, which help clients reprocess trauma that may be stuck in the mind and body. Trauma therapy can help people understand how their trauma is affecting their current behaviours, and offer strategies to break free from the patterns that keep the trauma cycle going.
Trauma therapy is essential in breaking the trauma cycle because it focuses on long-term healing rather than just symptom management. It provides people with the opportunity to reframe their trauma, work through difficult emotions, and ultimately regain a sense of control over their lives.
Healing also involves learning to practice self-compassion. Trauma survivors often carry a great deal of shame and guilt, which can hinder their recovery. By learning to treat themselves with kindness and understanding, people can begin to heal the emotional wounds that keep them trapped in the trauma cycle.
Steps to Break the Cycle
Breaking the trauma cycle is a multi-step process, and while it may feel overwhelming at first, it’s important to remember that recovery is possible. Here are some practical steps that can help people begin to break free from the trauma cycle:
1. Identify Triggers: The first step in breaking the trauma cycle is to become aware of your triggers. Keep a journal to track moments when you feel overwhelmed by emotion and note any common themes or patterns. Over time, you’ll begin to notice what situations, people, or experiences tend to trigger your trauma response.
2. Replace Maladaptive Coping Strategies: Once you’ve identified your triggers, work on developing healthier coping strategies. This might involve learning grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or using sensory cues to bring yourself back to the present moment. If you tend to dissociate when triggered, grounding exercises can be particularly helpful for reconnecting with your body and surroundings.
You can also replace negative coping strategies with more positive activities, such as exercising, journalling, meditating, or engaging in a creative hobby. The key is to find activities that help you process your emotions in a constructive way, rather than avoiding or numbing them.
3. Build a Support System: Recovery from trauma is not something that can be done in isolation. It’s important to have a support system in place, whether that’s friends, family, a therapist, or a support group. Surround yourself with people who understand your journey and who can offer emotional support when you need it. Building a sense of community can help reduce the feelings of isolation that often come with trauma.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is essential in the healing process. Trauma survivors often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, which can make it difficult to move forward. Learning to treat yourself with kindness, rather than criticism, is key to breaking the trauma cycle.
Self-compassion involves recognising that everyone makes mistakes, and that struggling with trauma doesn’t make you weak or flawed. By practicing self-compassion, you can begin to heal the wounds of shame and guilt that keep you stuck in the trauma cycle.
5. Commit to Healing: Finally, breaking the trauma cycle requires a commitment to healing. This might mean attending therapy regularly, setting aside time for self-care, or making lifestyle changes that support your emotional well-being. Recovery from trauma is a journey, and it’s important to stay committed to that journey, even when progress feels slow or difficult.
Healing is not linear, and there will likely be setbacks along the way. However, with persistence and support, it is possible to break free from the trauma cycle and reclaim control over your life.
How to Prevent Re-entry into the Cycle
Even after making progress in breaking the trauma cycle, it’s important to remain vigilant to prevent slipping back into old patterns. Relapse is a common part of recovery, and it doesn’t mean failure. The key is to recognise the early signs of re-entering the trauma cycle and take action before the behaviour becomes entrenched again.
1. Regular Self-Check-ins: One way to prevent re-entry into the cycle is to regularly check in with yourself. Set aside time each week to reflect on your emotional state, your coping strategies, and whether any old patterns are starting to re-emerge. If you notice that you’re starting to feel overwhelmed or are engaging in unhealthy coping behaviours, take action to address the underlying issue before it spirals out of control.
2. Continue Therapy or Support: Even after significant progress, ongoing therapy or participation in a support group can be invaluable. Trauma can resurface in different ways throughout life, especially during times of stress or transition. Having a regular outlet for discussing your experiences and challenges can help you stay grounded and prevent a return to the trauma cycle.
3. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for staying present in the moment and preventing old trauma patterns from taking over. By practicing mindfulness, you can increase your awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, allowing you to recognise when you’re starting to feel triggered or overwhelmed. Mindfulness can also help you respond to triggers in a more measured way, rather than reacting impulsively.
4. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Taking care of your physical health can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep all contribute to emotional regulation, making it easier to manage stress and trauma triggers. When you’re physically healthy, you’re better equipped to stay in control of your emotions and prevent re-entry into the trauma cycle.
Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Power
Breaking free from the trauma cycle is not easy, but it is possible. By understanding the patterns of behaviour that keep the cycle going, and by taking active steps to develop healthier coping mechanisms, you can begin to reclaim your power and rewrite your story. Recovery from trauma is a journey — it takes time, patience, and self-compassion. But with the right support and tools, it is possible to break the cycle of trauma and create a life that is rooted in healing and resilience.
You are not defined by your trauma. By breaking the trauma cycle, you can move from being a victim of your past to a survivor who is reclaiming their present and future. Take the first step toward healing today — it’s never too late to break the cycle and reclaim your power.